I Almost Quit Because of Teacher Burnout

When I moved to Arizona before the 2016-2017 school year, I had six years of teaching under my belt, and I was gaining confidence in myself as an educator. I had no idea that in a year’s time I would want to quit the profession. Teacher burnout nearly ended my career. Why am I sharing this story with you? Well, when I was going through this dark time, I felt completely alone; the guilt consumed me. If you ever consider leaving education, I don’t want you to ever feel guilty or alone. You have options, and there is no shame in considering them.

New state, new school

I always loved teaching. Beginning year 7 in Phoenix was so exciting. I loved seeing the palm trees and the mountains as I approached my school. To me, they were proof that I had finally achieved my goal of moving to Arizona. But by the end of the first quarter, I was concerned. Behavior at my new school was a big issue, as was a lack of funding and support. Moreover, I was getting to know the backstories of my students, and it was breaking my heart. Many were in foster care, came to school hungry, and had dealt with more hardship than I could fathom. Every day, I would drive an hour to and from school, with my students’ problems filling my head. We’ve all been there. As teachers, we’ve all had students we worried about, whom we wished we could shield from the world.

Pile on the Stress

Honestly, I wasn’t handling it. In addition to my new work environment, other stressors were taking a toll. Money was extremely tight since moving. My husband and I rarely saw each other because of his new schedule. I was driving an hour each way to a school that didn’t feel like home. I’d wake up every Monday morning physically sick with stress. Panic attacks were growing more and more frequent. Every month or so, I was getting sinus infections from severe acid reflux. My dentist warned me that I was grinding down my teeth. Basically, I felt like my life was falling apart. But I made it to the end of the year, by the skin of my ground teeth, and I spent the summer preparing to return to my school in August ready to tackle it all.

Unfortunately, my second school year in Phoenix was the lowest point in my teaching career. My schedule and my rosters were drastically different, and I was overwhelmed. As a matter of fact, it later inspired me to write the post “Letter to an Overwhelmed Teacher.” Let’s just say that teacher burnout was setting in. Later that fall of 2017, as I sobbed through another panic attack, my husband saved my career. I had been upset after a particularly rough day at work, and I was frustrated. I was working at least 60 hours a week, planning lessons, writing referrals, breaking up physical fights, and doing recess duty in the hot Phoenix sun. On top of all that, it wasn’t even paying the bills.

Breaking Point

This was the night that I finally voiced my thoughts on quitting teaching. Maybe I could find a nice office job for my sanity’s sake. My husband Steve is quiet, but when he has something to say, it’s meaningful. “Do you want an office job?” he asked. I thought about it. Truthfully, I just wanted out of my current situation, so I explained that. “Well then why quit teaching?” he asked. “Because I can’t take much more. I’m burning out!” The tears poured down my face. “Yes, you are,” he agreed. This took me aback. I thought I’d been hiding my burnout pretty well, but it turns out I wasn’t fooling anyone. He continued, “You are an amazing music teacher. If you want to leave teaching, though, I’ll support you. But it seems like you’re just unhappy with your current situation. If that’s the case, find a new school.”

He made a great point; I still loved teaching. As a matter of fact, my biggest problem that school year was that I was doing more supervision duty than teaching. But I felt that if I left my school, I was abandoning my students. How could I stay in education, but leave behind these kids who needed me? I asked Steve about this dilemma. “If you stay in your current situation, how much longer do you think you can teach? Wouldn’t you rather continue teaching somewhere else than have to leave the profession altogether? You need to do what’s best for you.”

Making a Change

Steve was right. After finishing my first year at my current school, I can say that I’ve never been happier with teaching. I look forward to going to work every day. Was it because I moved out of a Title I school? Absolutely not. I have worked in schools with high needs before and loved it. For whatever reason, my previous school was not the right fit for me. That’s okay.

But what about the kids at my old school? Don’t I feel bad for leaving them? If I’m honest with myself, the students at my last school were not getting the best version of me. That’s what happens when we are unhappy or experience teacher burnout. Maybe your heart truly isn’t in education anymore. That’s okay, too. But before you leave the profession, please make sure that the problem isn’t with your current position or school. Whether it’s your school, district, team, or position, it is completely okay to make a change for yourself. I hope that you all return to school in the fall as truly happy teachers. You deserve it!